i watch this canadian mtv show on logotv called “1 Girl 5 Gay s” and david robert is one of the cast members on this show.  this video was done in response to the suicide of 15-year-old, Jamie Hubley of Ottawa, Canada.  he decide to end his life because of the constant bullying and depression he was facing as a gay teenager.  this is not the first story like this.  the publicity surrounding these suicides has increased.  there is an organization that has been creating videos with celebrities and companies in order to reach out to youth in crisis called It Gets Better. There is also The Trevor Project, an organization dedicated to helping gay teens in crisis.

when i came out, i was really lucky to be surrounded by some amazing people.  i remember the fear i had when it came to telling people that i loved.  will they still love me? will they hate me?  i remember crying before, during and after these conversations.  i still take in a couple of large breaths when i come out to people today.  i have never been one of those, “Hi, my name is Ann and I am a lesbian.” kind of people.  you will know me and love me before i tell you.  it is just one part of me.  it is an important part of who i am but not what defines me.  i used to give talks to kids in high school, in college and in church telling people that it is okay and that they are not alone.

i have been through a lot of things that make me feel like i am alone on this earth and that no one in this universe could understand my pain.  i have been in the darkest valleys where only my mind could take me.  i came out of the closet when i was a junior in college.  i cannot imagine figuring it out in high school.  telling people now seems so easy compared to twenty years ago for me, but it still can be hard.  the saddest part is that it is something about YOUR personality that has absolutely no affect on the other person’s life that you are being judged upon.

i consider myself out of the closet in all aspects of my life. my family, friends, and co-workers know that i am gay.  i speak openly about my relationship and my past.  i know that in the past i was the first person to tell them, now it is much more commonplace.  however, i feel it is still important that i do not hide.  the more open i am with other people the more open they are with me.  it is not all that defines me, but it is an important part of who i am.  it was hard at first, but it gets better.  i was lucky enough to have role models when i came out of the closet to help lead me through the darkness.  my wish for the younger generation and for the future is that it gets simpler to be able to be yourself.

why can it not be simple?

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